Eating Disorders and Labeling Negative Thoughts

I recently read this article in Elephant Journal entitled “Confessions of a Food Restrictor.” In the words of my beloved Oprah, it was an “Aha Moment” for me. The author , Anne Falkowski, explains her experience with a registered dietician who, after a conversation about her eating habits, informed her that he believed her to be a “restrictor”. He defined the term as, “someone who counts calories”or “someone who has so many rules around food and the rules give more power to food than food actually has.”

Wow. That’s exactly what I used to do. For years. The term “restrictor” really resonates with me because I have always been reluctant to refer to my past eating disorder as anorexia. My case was serious. My relationship with food was certainly unhealthy and it dominated my life. But I always felt as if I were a step or two away from all out anorexia (though I realize that what constitutes anorexia for me may be somewhat different for someone else).

Before I go any further, I want to clarify my feelings about the power of food. We give food as much power as we choose to. I don’t believe that power has to be negative. It can be very, very good. Sharing holiday meals with family, trying a new restaurant with a friend, preparing a meal for your partner, these are all very positive, powerful experiences. In fact, since recovering from my eating disorder, I’ve fallen in love with cooking and baking. A friend and I are even planning to start a cooking blog together.

However, for people with eating disorders, the power given to food is, of course, very negative. It is not a healing power, or a power that creates community and reinforces bonds. It is a power to overwhelm and control. It is a power that allows food to take on a life of its own – and to overshadow the person’s real life.

But when we understand where this power comes from – that it comes from negative thoughts that we can label (meditation can be particularly helpful in this regard), then we can defuse that power. This is why finding the term “restrictor”was so meaningful to me. If I’d had this term at the height of my eating disorder, I would have been able to mentally label my negative thoughts as “restriction.” That would have helped me to separate the thoughts from myself and my truth and to thereby begin to disregard them.

Humans like to quantify things. We like categories and names. This is sometimes helpful and sometimes detrimental – but it is undeniable that we like to make order out of chaos. Having a label for an eating disorder helps us understand that those negative thoughts don’t represent truth, nor are they an essential part of our being. They are simply the voice of the “restrictor,” something we can recognize and then move on from. The terms anorexia and bulimia are very familiar, but I believe there are a lot of people out there like me who have truly disordered relationships with food but may not consider themselves anorexic or bulimia. Perhaps those people would benefit from having a label that makes their experiences more tangible and helps them separate themselves from their negative thoughts.

Read more: Eating for Health, Food, Mental Wellness, Spirit, baking, cooking, eating, eating disorder, food restrictor, label, meditation, negative thoughts, power

Source : care2[dot]com

See Why Narcissism IS Useful (part 2)

The moment of separation psychoanalysts call “secondary narcissism”

According to Freud, each of us has a limited amount of libido – we are doomed to love others, sacrifice our own libido or otherwise – if you love too much, nothing to give to others.

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The feeling of self-worth, self-love is built, it is not a given

But how to achieve balance is the question that is actually most important for parents, says Almos. Often parents, who see that the child does not have faith in itself, said this is due to its character. They are wrong, claim psychologists.
The feeling of self-worth, self-love is built, it is not a given. It is built mainly in contact with the parents. What is important to build a positive narcissism, is the child to feel that its existence makes his mom and dad happy that they have plans for his life. The second point is to give it to understand that it perceived as an individual and not as part of magma, called “Our Children” that features his difference from those of their siblings.

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Finally, the child must know that this individuality is a value in the eyes of parents. However, this is not enough to be told constantly how beautiful, smart and talented. You need to accept for what it is and to be respected as such. For example, if you continue to act like your child is still a baby when it is almost 5. It is essential that the child is treated seriously in their desires and opinions. If you have never been informed about the things that concern it, you cannot get a sense of importance.
How to build this positive narcissism manifests itself in adulthood? The ability to withstand the trials that hurt the feeling of self-worth, meet Almos. Love tabs layoffs; life events create a sense of rejection. Small or large, our narcissistic wounds are lurking at every corner.
But if a child thanks to its parents has a balanced sense of what it is, it could make failures relative. They remain painful, but not devastating, said Almos.
If in the childhood the person was deprived from these every unpleasant situation become object of painful self-esteem – do I worth something? A set so the question already contains the answer – worthless or at least not worth much.

See Why Narcissism IS Useful- part 1

Source : dailyhealtharticles[dot]com

Baked Apples With Candied Ginger & Toasted Pecans

My second son turned one month last week. Needless to say, my ability to cook is a tad limited at the moment. But my big brother and my two adorable nieces were in town for a visit so I handed the baby off to his dad during our older son’s nap in order to pull together a simple but tasty dinner of veggie burgers with avocado and tomato, the world’s best oven fries, a green salad with dried cranberries and toasted pepitas, and even (gasp!) DESSERT.

I decided to make baked apples for three reasons: 1) They are yummy and comforting and warm, 2) It is apple season and the Hudson Valley is bursting with delicious, crisp, sweet-tart fruit, and, 3) Perhaps most importantly, they are amazingly easy to make.

I think baked apples are good pretty much any way but I included crystallized ginger to spice things up a bit, along with some toasted pecans we had leftover from another meal.

The rest was easy – brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, butter (you could use coconut oil if you don’t eat dairy), and some fresh apple cider that we got at a wonderful cider press party we’d gone to a few days earlier.

I mixed up the filling in a bowl.

Cored the apples, stopping an inch above the bottom to avoid going all the way through.

Then stuffed them, topped them with butter, arranged them in a baking dish so that none would tip over while baking, and poured some of the cider into the bottom. Topped it with foil and put it into the oven for a while.

Next: Get the recipe!

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Read more: All recipes, Blogs, Desserts, Food, Garden of Eating, Vegan, Vegetarian, apple dessert recipes, apple desserts, apple recipes, apples, baked apples recipe

Source : care2[dot]com